Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
