Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
