I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
