ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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