if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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