Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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