I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
