I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
