i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Who wears a wallet chain?!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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