i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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