He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
