it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
