what day is it and did you see me today?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize