Already got asked if we're dating
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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