my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
