After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
