I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
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Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
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Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize