You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
