Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I don't deserve a penis
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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