Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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