so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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