Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
