there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
