I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize