How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
