we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize