i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
