I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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