I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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