What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
