Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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