trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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