Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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