I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
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