She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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