i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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