I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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