Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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