I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
