Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
