just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
