Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
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Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
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He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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