They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
