he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
