I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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