Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
