This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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