after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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