She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
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