i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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