i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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