My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
