Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
