i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
