so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize