When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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