dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
