i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
