Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
