I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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